Sunday, June 19, 2011

Day 1

Hello readers.. Happy Sunday. =.=' I know its Sunday. That's mean tomorrow school huh? :) Semalam tido lewat,pkl 4.30am mcm tu. Even dah ditegur dia beberapa kali,but i can't help it. Sorry,my eyes just can't sleep. Hoho. Insomnia. You know that from the first time we know each other. :')

I woke up this morning,so early i think,around 9.30am. Can u just count how many hours i slept today? Almost 5 hours like that. :) I planned to wake up late,around 11 like that. But it just my own problem. Once i am awake,open my eyes widely,then i get no chance to get some sleep back. Funny huh? Ok. Not funny. I know,maybe you,you,you,you..any of you who reads this,no matter who you are,stalkers(sure ada stalkers here),my blog's friends,silent readers,any of you,face the same problem like me. Okay,i'm not here to talk about sleep. Duhh~ Why is it my topic menyimpang trlalu jauh? Talk about sleep already took 5-6 lines. =.=' What about my time taken to type that?? Hurm.. K.. Melalut lebih. Merepak (babbling) di pagi hari is good. Haha. :D Good for your mouth,exercise bah. (When is it i use my mouth to merepak in blog?? =.=') Okay.. Just imagine it,enough.

I woke up this morning. After went to the toilet,(specifically description on what i did after woke up..haha) So lame! Perfectionist bah.. Well,do i care? :p
K.. Continue. After went back to my bed room,i charged my phone,coz' it totally shut down since this early morning. Due to my laziness to charge it up. Plus,i think since we're already break off,surely my phone will be silent all the time. Yeah.. as i open my phone,oppss...not open actually,but turn it on =.= , i received a msg from my sis,she asked me what happened. But i didn't reply it yet. Haha. I think later2 la.. She might busy this morning as this is SUNDAY morning. =.=' Huhu. Then,i try to sleep back. Then my phone rang again,received a msg. I wonder who is it that looking for me this early morning. Then i look at it up. Err.. K. It's from Stanley. He said,"morning sayang :)". Then i replied him and send my confused and shocked face,like this------>" O.o morning too." Then he say sorry,still try to get use of it. He forget that we're break up already. K. Actually me too. ;'( I woke up with the weirdest,strangest,and so on feeling this morning. Trying to forget everything,but it just i cant. Hey,i know that i'm having SHORT TERMS MEMORY,it doesn't mean i will easily forget things just like that. =/

K..we have a few minutes for a few msgs. I didn't layan his msg so much. Enough after i express what i feel,then i just replied him with "ok" and "i know",or just "k". He asked me do i still love him. Then i said definitely yes. He asked me why.Then i replied him,

"There's no reason why we love a person.It just your heart,your heart will tell you what you feel. Not based on what your mouth that speak it out. Coz' words is not really good in express what you feel.From the start,i gave you my heart,i will loyal to you,i promise to myself that the relationship will end not because i'm cheating. But seems like things went different."
 He replied me,
"So i'm sorry for making you falling in love with me. Sorry also coz' i love you too,but might just not enough. Sorry i didn't make thing clear. And sorry that i hurt your feeling."
 This time going to be a confession,don't know why am i so brave to say it out. I tell him,"i want you back. But,it's okay. I know your situation. " He said,"Me too. But i'm scared that i will hurt you again." Naaahh~ I know what is it. I tell him that he can avoid all this,but it just he is the one that can't and don't want to avoid it. =.='  Continue..he said "let's time decide it. I will sure get you back when i think i should." Then,it's the starting when i  started to not layan his msg so much. Hell yeah! I'm afraid the more longer i text him,the more longer i become speechless. Plus i have nothing to say after that. Yah..

It's time to let go. It's a brand new beginning. Hey! I lose my love but i still have my friends. Aww~ Thanks guys and girls. :') They keep give me a piece of encouragement. They spent time for me. Some 'talked' to me wall to wall. Some commented on my status. =.=' As usual people do on facebook. Haha. Some of them inbox me. The most thing that makes me want to shed my tears is,when i posted up this picture.

See? This is how i look like,after almost an hour of our breaking up. I still can smile. This is for you. But definitely you will never could see a sweet smile like this from me anymore. :') Thanks for saying that "i'm gonna miss your sweet smile.".
Ok.. There's a friend of mine commented on this picture and said,"i like your smile,but your eyes tell me that you're still sad. ehehe. :)". Then i was just like =.=' come is that? But definitely,what he said,makes me wanna cry. Hurm.. But i didn't. I managed to stop (what i mean is menahan,not hentikan) my tears from falling down. :') Yay! I'm success! :') But please don't make any judgement on my action. I didn't crying not because i'm not hurt at all. I did but it just that,wellllllll you know.. I'm a strong girl though. :') (i know i am). I said to myself,i will not crying for him anymore. I think it's enough i waste my 'eyes water' (haha) for him. Let's make the time i cried in front of him at the Tanjong last week is gonna be the last time i cry for him. :') I wanna live my life to the fullest. Without love,i still can live yaw~ Like what i did last time. Oh yeah! :') Btw,thanks to my besties,sissies,my good friend,which i call him bro,my cuzzie and the last is my ex boyfriend's friend. He was shocked that we are not couple anymore because the last time he met Stanley,he seems being okay. I told him what happened coz' he asked me to.

Opppss....that's not the last actually. I just received a msg from my friend,who once was my future-boyfriend-wanna-be. But since he's far from me, i took many years to accept him. How long he have waited for me? I am sure you will dumbfounded when you know about that. It's almost 3 years you know. =.=' I know that he loved me. But yeah... Still can't accept him,just being a good friend for him is enough. Lastly,i choose Stanley and dumbed him. =.= What can i do. I need my boyfie near to me. Okay,end the story,he texted me just now and said,
"Just cry out loud whenever you feel like to. Don't keep in inside,it will make you even worst. Hope you getting well soon. I'm always here as your friend :)"
 Once again,thank you friends for giving me encouragement. I am alright and come..come..let's listen to Travie McCoy's song named "We'll be alright". :') Duhh~ Hey you,thanks for reading this. I know it just waste your time but it's your own will that wanna read my entry from a to z. Don't blame me. Bluekkkk! :D Adiosaaa~

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