Wednesday, December 25, 2013

It's a God plans

Everything happened for a reason. After the break up,I'm trying hard to moving on as the breaking up was my decision. Why? Because I don't know how to make it works. My attention,my love,my time.. I can't give them to him. Eventho' it's hard to let him go,but I have to. I can't bear to see him sad because of me. :') I don't want him to get angry often with my attitudes. Yes,I'm not the same girl he knew few years ago. I've changed. At the time I let him go,I still love him. I still care. But I'm giving up on our relationship as I see there's no other way for us to stay with each other. It's hard for me. Seeing him happy there,I feel sad. Maybe it's because I know that he's happy even without me. And I'm not the reason behind his smile anymore. :') But at the other side,I'm glad to know that it seems like I've made the right decision. :') Sometimes I miss our moments together,I miss his warm hugs when he's trying to calm me down.. :'( I just missed everything. Everything. Whenever I think about him,I will cry because I miss him too much! I'm wishing for something that won't happen. That he will wait for me someday,but I know he wouldn't. Because he moved on and maybe other girl catches his eyes. :')

Few days ago,I was in Kuching. I thought I would be okay,but I'm not. We texted and argued. Yes I'm mad at him. Don't know why. But he's right,I should move on. Maybe he's telling me to forget him. I accepted that with hard feeling. :'(

And last week,I got a sudden message in FB from my long lost ex boyfriend. He asked me when will I come to town and would like to hang out with me once I'm there. Since it's a very rare opportunity,I agreed to meet him. So on my last day in Kuching,he came before 9am and greet my family. Then we straight away go to pick up his friend at Stampin Tengah. The 3 of us went to BDC area to have a breakfast. I had Laksa for me! :D My all time favorite. Done with breakfast,we went to City One Megamall to catch a movie and we picked 47 Ronin's movie. We skipped our lunch and after the movie,we went to Permai Resort. I love the view. We took some pictures. Then I let my ex and his friend have fun back there. I sat at one of the rock and I cried,suddenly. At that time,I can't believe that I met my long lost ex today and we were having fun together. I do think of him (my latest ex bf) and suddenly missing him. All of sudden,a question came out from my mind. "God,why did you do this to me? Why did my ex reappear after my breaking up? Why did you let us meet again?" It's sadden me. :'(

Done with 'myself' time at the beach and their beach 'activity',we heading off to have seafood for our dinner. On our way to his car,he walked beside me. He said,"2 years has past,take a look at us. We still can be bestfriend right?" And he gave me a hug on my shoulder. I smiled and replied,"yeah.. :) Let's forget the past." :) I never thought that this day will come. Because the last time we met,we argued and decided not to contact each other anymore. Maybe he realized that what's the point of hating your ex. So it's a God blessing then. He really made my day that day. He made me laughed,annoyed me as well,fed me well. LOL. After dinner,he and his friend send me off to the airport as I'm going back to Miri that night as well. Farewell my friend. :') On the plane,I'm thinking of my latest ex. I don't know why I missed him so much. As I miss him,I cried once again in the plane. And I'm pretty sure the steward noticed that I'm crying because I sit in front of the plane. LOL. But who cares. I'm sad. :'( I miss you. D'x

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