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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Be mine :)

"Be mine".. Itula yg aku ucapkan pd dia lebih kurang 2 bln yg lepas. Waktu tu dia ada di depan mata aku. :) The memory a so sweet to remember. Yah. Aku kata begitu bkn brmaksud aku yg trhegeh2 bawa dia couple. Tapi waktu tu adalah wktu utk aku mmberi dia jwpn. Whether aku accept dia or aku nak dia tggu lebih lama lagi. :) Tapi mlm tu,aku terima dia dgn hnya mengucapkan 2 prkataan iaitu "be mine". Well,bila aku kata mcm tu,dia mmg trkejut dan mcm tak prcaya yg aku trima dia. :D Haha. Masih tringat lagi mcm mana aku kena yakinkan dia apa yg dia dgr tu btl and aku kena ulang beberapa kali ayat tu yg aku dah terima dia. Haha. Tapi tu cita 2 bln lepas.


Malam 2 hri lepas,dia text aku. And kata nak return. Mak!!! Aku happy! Sumpah aku happy. Selepas 10 hri brpisah,dia kembali jugak pada aku. :') Uwaa.. Mcm tak pcaya je kitorg couple balik. Hehe. Dia ada buka cerita mula2 kitorg couple tu. Dia kata,"simple words said by you..-be mine-. Time tu mmg rsa tak prcaya sampaikan you have to repeat it many times." Hahaha.. Mmg! Aku malas nak cakap pjg2 time tu,so i find the simplest sentence to say to him as the answer. So,yah..it's been 2 days. He said,"forget the past,no more 'her' and blablabla.." Nahh~ I said,"alaa...if you mmg still ada contact her pun,kalau korg ada ungkit2 hal dulu pun,mesti la still ada 'her' and at that time,i won't stop to say any about 'her' in front of you." Ada faham ka readers semua? If dia tak kantoi lg kat aku dgn apa2 yg brkaitan dgn 'her',of course la aku takkan sebut2 sal dia kat him lg. As simple as that bah. Kan? Ikut situasi la,kalau ada yg brkaitan,aku sebut la,kalau tak,buat apa aku nak ingat sal hal dulu2,apalagi nak ingat dia. :) Sebab bg aku,buat apa nak fikir ttg org kalau org tak fikir ttg aku. Adil la kan? Aku takde kaitan dgn hidup that girl,so do her. So,better aku fikir soal hidup aku. Perghhh! Lai ci kang! Haha. (Ignore kalau tak faham. :p)

Okay. I'm done. Malas nak type pjg2. Go go go go..



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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Monday Blues!

2.49am
*sigh. Org lain dah sedap2 dok brdengkur kroih kroih atas tilam empuk masing2,tapi aku pulak tgh duduk ngadap laptop ni and blogging. =.=' Bukan apa,dah terlebih cukup tido. Balik sklh je ptg td,aku terus tido. Mlm plak,kol 9 dah trtido balik. Tp asyik trjaga. Haizz! Asal salu cam tu eyh?

K. Nak dimulakan cerita,sdg aku syok2 berada di alam mimpi,tiba2 phone aku brdering. Cehh! Skema tol cara aku cerita. Kan? Aku kesah apa. Aku punya cerita,ko baca je lah kalau ko nak teruskan. K. Phone aku brbunyi,dgn trpaksanya aku bgn dr katil utk ambil phone aku yg kat atas meja study aku. Mata aku yg separuh tutup jadi besar bukaannya bila tgk nama ex gf kpd ex bf aku tertera kat phone aku. B4 aku jwb,sempat gak aku trtanya,asal dia ni call? Apa mimpi? Aku biarkan phone tu brdering jap utk beberapa saat agi. Then baru la aku angkat.

Dgn nada yg relax aku katakan hello..... then bye2. Ok. Dah. Habis cita. Hahahahahaha!! No no no..Joking only. Hmm.. She asked me whether i know who she is. Then i say yes. =.= As usual,bukan aku yg mulakan conversation. Ntah. Bkn aku yg call,mana aku tau apa yg dia nak cakapkan. So aku bagi dia ruang utk brcakap. Okey yg pastinya mmg aku dah agak la mesti berkaitan dgn ex aku,ex kami dua,ex whosoever la. Ex aku,ex dia gak. Hahaha. =.='

Dia minta aku utk kembali kpd ex aku,Stanley. Try to get him again. Weyhh.. Itu bkn bnda senang utk aku buat okay. =.= Actualy aku sendiri tak boleh buat apa2. Fine. Td aku dah bgtau dia. It's not easy as that utk aku return ngan my ex. Of course,mmg aku nak return,tp segala keputusan trletak pd tgn Stanley,bkn aku. Aku dah bagi ex aku peluang kedua,ya,aku tunggu dia. Tapi dia sendiri yg kata buat masa skrg ni kitorg hnya brkawan. Sebab dia perlukan masa utk rebuild everything. Ok. Rasanya aku dah 2 3 kali gak sebut bnda yg sama ni. Don't why she asked me to do that. Tapi aku rasa dia sendiri tau yg Stanley sendiri yg tak grab that opportunity. Well,dia kan rapat ngan our ex tu and bak kata dia sendiri,dia faham and masak dgn perangai Stanley. Itu mmg diakui. Jadi,aku rasa tak sesuai dia minta tu semua kat aku. Mmg la dia tak paksa. Aku tau. Ahh! Sapa lah aku utk buat semua tu? Dia call aku pun time dia kat airport. Right! She's leaving to the peninsular. Na'ah.. Study matter. Finally dpt gak dia nak chow dr Miri ni. Yah.. Aku tau ni mesti aku dan ex aku jd antara sebab besar knpa dia sggup pergi jauh dr sini. Setau aku la dia mmg tak sggup nak jauh dr family apalagi jauh dr my ex tu. Entah. I can see that she mmg CINTA MATI kat my ex.

Back to the story,she minta maaf for all that she and he have done to me. But it seems like it's useless already bah. Dgn hanya kata maaf,semua yg dah terjadi takkan dpt kau ubah lagi. Kau pernah dgr tak pepatah Melayu yg sgt popular dimana budak2 umur 4 5 thn pun dah pandai guna iaitu "BERTEPUK SEBELAH TANGAN TAKKAN BERBUNYIA". Kenalkan pepatah ni? Look familiar to you guys? Yeah? Good! Kenapa aku kaitkan pepatah ni dgn situasi kami bertiga? Sebabnya ialah kalau b4 ni that girl tak layan sgt my ex yg time tu adalah my bf,semua ni takkan berlaku. Kami takkan berpisah,bergaduh,aku takkan sakit hati kat mereka berdua and the girl takkan selalu jadi penyebab aku bergaduh dgn ex aku. Apa yg aku mksudkan dgn LAYAN td ialah pergi jumpa my bf,text him or layan text dr him. Kan? Texting yg biasa2 je aku tak kisah,itupun kalau bukan dibelakang2 aku. Amboi.. B4 ni mmg senyap2 aarr diorg msg. Even aku sendiri ada texting ngan ex aku,tp aku texting dpn2 bf aku tu and aku bgtau sapa dgn aku msg. Dia ada buat gitu? NON ADO! That girl also,aku prnah trbaca msg yg dia bg kat my bf,but the msg is not in Malay nor English,but in Melanau's language. Well,aku mmg tak fhm bhsa Melanau,tp aku baca text tu brkali2,last2 aku fhm gak,dpt tau mksud certain words. My God! Damn! Aku terus bad mood,lama aku diam sbb aku menahan amarah. Bf aku yg kat sblh aku time tu diam je,tak tau nak buat apa. Last2 aku nangis. =.=' Haih.. perempuan,bila dah marah,nangis je kojhenye. +_+ Hmm. Lumrah alam.

Okay2..:et's proceed. Hmm. Even pun my bf tu yg mmg ingin sgt nak jumpa dia,tapi that girl harus dah lama tau apa yg dia mesti buat utk elakkan apa2 yg buruk drpd brlaku. If dia mmg sedar posisi kami,dia sendiri tahu yg dia mesti elak utk buat apa yg dia dah buat selama ni. Berkomplot dgn my bf belakang2 aku,baik sgt ler tu plan korg. Huhu. Org kata,"SEPANDAI-PANDAI TUPAI MELOMPAT,AKHIRNYA JATUH KE TANAH JUA". Menipu atau menyorok apa yg korg buat.last2 kantoi jugak kat aku. Mmg itu yg sepatutnya trjadi. Tuhan tak biarkan aku ditipu lama2. Sekali kantoi,korg masih berani buat lagi. Dua kali,tiga kali,empat kali... Sampai la aku dah MUAK GILER.. FINE!! Akhirnya aku pun putus ngan dia. Semua terkejut asal aku putus ngan diaa,sdgkan kami baru je couple dan mereka tgk kami bahagia. Yaa.. Mmg pun kamu baru agi,kalau diikutkan,sepatutnya skrg kami dah 2 bln. =.=' (*Aku mghitung hari ke ni? Hadoi....) Hmm.. Then,finally,dua2 sedar yg diorg dah buat salah kat aku. Hmm.. Aku terima maaf itu tapi itu mmbuatkan aku berfikir and menyesal kenapa diorg tak fikir mcm tu dr dulu lagi. Kenapa diorg tak fikir dulu apa kesan pd masa akan dtg kalau mereka buat sesuatu tindakan. Seperti bidalan atau pepatah yg mengatakan,"MENCEGAH LEBIH BAIK DARI MERAWAT". Sebab itu org kata,"BERFIKIR DAHULU SEBELUM BERTINDAK". Yeah! Hari ni kita belajar beberapa peribahasa/bidalan/simpulan bahasa/perumpamaan or whatsoever la. My ex pun finally realized that selama ni dia dah berlaku unfair kat aku. Nahh~ Baru sedar ye syg? Takpa. Semua dah berlaku. Hmm~ Sejarah takkan dpt diubah. Huih? Jd sejarah dah? Haha.

Btw,aku hargai usaha yg that girl buat. Sggup call aku semata2 utk cakap sal tu,sggup bazirkan kredit dia utk call aku,sggup buang tenaga dan air liur dia utk brcakap dgn aku. Uih.. Byk tu! Apa yg ko buat,aku tak dpt balas,Tuhan je akan balas apa yg kau buat. Kalau kau ikhlas,baik la balasan kau. Tapi kalau ko separuh ikhlas,tak yah je la. Buang masa kau je. Anyway,apa yg aku luahkan kat sini,bukan utk mengeji org menyalahkan mereka berdua,tapi aku sekadar ingin menyatakan rasa hati. Aku bkn berdendam,aku cuma mengenang je. Sebab ada sedikit kekesalan di hati aku atas apa yg korg dah lakukan kpd aku. Ini ayat yg sesuai dlm situasi tersebut,"SESAL DAHULU PENDAPATAN,SESAL KEMUDIAN TIDAK BERGUNA". Kenapa? Sebab hati aku dah terluka berkali2 dgn segala apa yg mereka lakukan terhadap aku. Malah aku dah lali mghadapi kebohongan dr mereka berdua sebelum ni. Tapi ya,harus diakui,hati aku masih sygkan ex aku. Mgkin ramai yg akan kata aku bodoh sebab msih menyayangi insan yg dah mentah2 tipu aku. Tapi ko kesah apa? Aku punya hati,suka hati aku la. Hati aku,bukan hatimu! Nah~ Sorry,entry kali ni agak kasar sikit. Sebab hati aku ni sekejap keras sekejap lembut. Haha. Lu pikirla sendiri! Bye!



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Monday, June 27, 2011

Awesome!! :D

11.45pm ( 26 Jun 2011)

Yahh..I just came home. I know,aku kluar mlm lagi. Haha. What can i do lorh? I was bored at home. So i terus plan utk kluar la. My plan is just wanna lepak at my sis,Racheal's house. Around 8.30pm like that i'm on my way to her house,but before that kena cari her house dulu,sebab her family baru move in to their new house. Still in area Taman Jelita. But jauh sikit dr my house. So i drive around 20 minutes just to find her house,pusing sana pusing sini,finally i found it! Haiyoh.. Lelah my tgn nak pusing stering ke kiri ke kanan. Cubala that car can fly for itself,can best? We just need to tekan button ke kiri ke kanan. Haha. Ok,enough with that. Merapu tak habis2!! After i took my sis,then dlm keta we asked each other "nak pergi mana??" =.=' Hey,no plan at all nak pergi mana,ikut kata hati jak nak kuar,tu pasal la. Then i asked her,you got friend yg tinggal area sini and dpt kuar with us? Then she said,ada,tapi lelaki la,their house is behind her house,so okay la.. I told her to call them. It's John and his brother,Charles. Tggu luar umah them,then we planned to go to Tmn Delight,so i okay jak la. Coz dekat sikit even i have to drive luar dari area my perumahan. Their plan wanna lepak at Pat's house. Hmm.. Kinda not sure leh who's that girl name. I don't know who she is,but sure she is their friend. :) But that person not there and if i'm not mistaken la,she go somewhere,at G.O.L i think. Biasaa.. pusat melepak kutu malam sana. Haha. Then we go to Tanjong la. Lepak there kejap. We just arrived there and we bumped into Assan,birthday boy! ^^ He limpas us when he wanted to buy some drinks. Hard drink for sure. :) Life babeyh! :) After they come back from buy drinks,they come to see us. Assan,Fizan and one boy. Don't know what is his name. ^^ Hehe. We wish Assan happy birthday. Then me and my sis pa lagi bila dah jumpa Fizan,the guy that both of us gelar as BUDAK MANJA AND CUTE. Haha. He escaped doh! Belum balik asrama lagi. He supposed to balik asrama this evening but BBQ punya hal,terus delay beliau nak balik. Beliau?? Haha. Mana2 la. :p We bullied him and he bullied us back dgn mengatakan yg my sis and me pendek. =.= Zzz.. Mentang2 dia tinggi. Kan? Then they continued their BBQ,berpisah la kami di sana. Haha.

Then my friends follow me went to Stanley's house. I met him at luar his house. We talked little but too many things that we want to say,but just keep it la inside your heart. :) Before i went back,we hugged,aww~ :( I really miss that. :( He kiss my cheeck and my forehead. Then i was so touched and wanna cry at the same time because i realized that he's not mine anymore. :'( Then i entered the car and he was going back to the flat. Then my cutey dutey sis Racheal asked,"Tadi apahal? Korang 2 dah return?" I said no. And she asked,"habis tu? Tadi tu apa?" I just say,"Just a hug.. Biasala.. Rindu bah sis". She just,"owh..okay :) " Nahh~ Then we went to the 7 Eleven just to buy Slurpee. =.=' Damn! Never thought that i will drive to the town,that's so far. Plus i still have no permission at all to drive that far. Haha. But who will knows? As long as my family don't know about it,so i won't kena marah la. :p Hey you guys,keep it as a secret okay? Don't backstab me. Haha. Proceed.. Then we went back home,i sent them safely to their house then i sent me myself to my house. Hahaha. :D

Now,i was sitting in front of my lappy and blogging plus facebooking. The funniest thing is,after all of us sampai rumah,semua post kat facebook about having Slurpee! Hahahaha! So obsess about Slurpee huh? Terutama my sis tu. I can see that she like it very much cuz its BRAIN-FREEEEZZZEEEing! your mind! But i didn't have the chance to play that ice on my tounge! :( *sigh. That is because i was driving at that time. Once i get back home,the ice dah mula cair. So i just drink the water je la. Neyh~ Poor me huh? :D Orite. End of my story for this. :)



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Sunday, June 26, 2011

H I M (N E W S P I R I T)



Hello readers! Hello peeps! ^^ I'm so happy today. Not only today but since last night. Ok. Last night,i feel like i'm getting a new spirit. Surely it's from someone that is very close to me. Ahaa.. Close meh? Urm.. Yes i think. *wink. Or maybe i should say someone that ever close to me before. Oh yes! That's it! Oh sorry. Finally i found the most suitable sentence to describe it. =..='

Yes,it's all started last night. Don't know what happened last night. I texted him just to say that i miss him. Yeah! It's me who started it 1st. Then he replied me in just a few mins. Urm.. No need to wait long for him to reply me.. :) Blablablabla.. Then i fall asleep as he's hang out with his friends.

I woke up this morning and received one message from him with a word 'syg'. Then my eyes just like zuuuuppppp!! Widely open when i saw that word! But i just say,'ya??'. He miss to call me that way,peeps! And when he said that he want to continue sleeping,because he willing to stay awake for about a hour just to wait for me to reply his text this morning. I said okay,but after 20 minutes,he texted me again.

He : Hmm.. Damn! Can't sleep. I miss you so much.
Me : Just close your eyes. Don't think anything. Sure you can sleep.
He : I can't. It's you in my mind now.
Me : =') What's wrong?
He : I just miss you so much.
Me : I miss you too dear. But what we can do? Just keep on missing each other only.
He : We need time to rebuild everything back to normal.
Me : Okay. As you wish. Like i tell you before,the decision is in your hand. :)
He :  Sayang.. (again he call me like that :') ) After we break up,i'm so worry about you.
Me : Why?
He : Thinking that you will really leave me.
Me : :( It's not me that wanna leave,but you are the one who let me go.
He : Yup. And i though you will really move on.
Me : And i really though that you don't love me anymore 'cause you seem like giving up on me and not trying to get me back.
He : I'm always love you. I don't know any about you since that. I'm so worry.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Since that,i felt i'm so live! Don't know why. Since yesterday,when a new fresh start in the morning,i set in my mind to not bother about it anymore since it's already been a week we broke up. Wanna starts my new chapter but he's come back giving new spirit in me. I'm not his special girlfriend,but i'm still his girlfriend.Do you get it? He never throw me away as his friend yet i'm still in his heart. That is why i said i'm still his girlfriend. In Malay,teman wanita or kawan perempuan. Get it already? ^^ Ok. Good dog! :p Haha. No offence! Right,back to the story.. I just wanna say that whatever gonna happen in the present,i will get up and stay strong in leading my life. Adios~ Life must go on. With or without love. :')

The weirdest thing happened
the other morning...
I woke up with
tears in my eyes..
and one rolling
down my cheek..and I knew
I must have been
dreaming of you again.




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1 minggu

Pa benda yg 1 minggu tu? Hmm.. Bagi sapa2 yg tau or ikuti prkembangan cerita hidup aku,mesti tau apa yg trjadi seminggu yg lepas. Ya,ni ttg aku putus cinta. Dah seminggu dah. :') Tadi ada texting ngan dia jap. B4 midnite menjelang. :') He says 'Swear to God,i want you back. But..hmm.. I don't know. I'm afraid that i will hurt you again.' Then i tell him,'Dear,semua org buat silap. Tak kira dlm hal apa sekalipun. You also said that that's the price that we have to pay for love,remember? You teach me that. :') '

I don't why.. After i say like that,i felt ease in my heart. Knowing that he still want me back same as i do,i just can smile. Well,it's all in his hand. He's the only one who can change all this. Missing each other like this way won't help at all unless if we are back together. Betul la kan? Kalau dah jadi couple balik,tak perlu la masing2 trseksa menanggung rindu mcm ni lagi. Tapi tu la.. Hmm.. Takpe,mana2 keputusan dia lah. As long as he know and remember what i told him all this while. :') Let's keep this life beautiful no matter what you had to going through after this. Just try and be strong. :')


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Saturday, June 25, 2011

Finally it fall

Hujan renyai2 di luar,menggamit segala memori yg pernah terukir indah antara kita. Begitu pantas masa berlalu. Kan? Ya. Mmg pun. Akhirnya,malam td aku menitiskan air mata kerana dia. Sudah tidak tertanggung aku menahan rasa di hati. Betapa payah aku menahan,tapi aku kalah. Sekeras2 hati aku,akhirnya tewas juga. Sungguh aku tak mengerti akan apa yg berlaku.



Takpa. Doakan saja yg terbaik utk hari esok. Doakan saja dia bahagia brsama sesiapa saja yg ada disekelilingnya. :')



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Friday, June 24, 2011

Sekolah Baruku

:') hari ni masuk sklh baru. Huhu. Sendiri pergi urus diri sendiri..T.T Kaka just anta sampai dpn gate sklh je. Dgn nervous,aku masuk gak gate tu,time tu mmg ramai students tgh brpusu2 masuk kwsn sklh. Aku beranikan diri tanya ckgu kat mana pejabat am. Lepas ckgu tu bagi tau arah,aku pun pergi la ke arah ditunjukkan. Ni lagi satu hal,kalau nak naik tangga ke pejabat am tu,kena lalu tgh2 tapak roll call. Makk aii.. Nak tak nak,aku trpaksa jln kat tgh2 tapak roll call tu dgn beratus2 mata memandang ke arah aku. T.T Malu akuu.. Huhu. Dah naik tangga v.i.p tu,mata aku terus melilau mancari pejabat am. Nasib baik la word Pejabat Am tu besar2 trpampang kat atas pintu masuk pejabat am. Terus aku masuk sana,lapor diri. Tapi x sempat urus segalanya,Mr.Chong iaitu Penolong Kanan Ting. 6,suruh aku ikut roll call,nanti dia akan cari. So,aku tnya la pengawas lelaki 2 org yg ada di luar pejabat am tu. Slh sorg tunjukkan aku barisan lower 6. Huhu. Then,time roll call tu la kitorg buat latihan polisi selamat balik sklh. Huhu. Harus juga kah di sini? Dahla brjalan kluar gate smpai luar sklh. Bgus balik terus. Tapi x leh,beg tinggal kat tapak roll call and ada pengawas jaga sepanjang jalan. Haha.


Then,aku jumpa kwn lama aku kat situ. Ezureen. Kwn sekelas time aku sklh rendah dulu. Aww~ Kitorg sama kelas. L6A2. Kenapa L6A2? Kenapa tak L6A1? Sebab nya,aku ambil subjek Ekonomi. Kelas L6A2 ambil Ekonomi,L6A1 ambil Geografi. Subjek PA,PP and Sejarah kekal. Cuma BM aku kena drop la. Takda org nak ajar kau BM sana. =.= K. So,pilih la Eko. Ada 17 students in my class,including me la. Laki x byk,4 org je kot? X pasti sgt. Sbb lom masuk class lg. Kitorg terus masuk ke library utk acara penutupan orientasi Form 6. Haiz.. Lambat! Belajar pun blm start lg. Next week start. So,thats mean semua yg aku dah belajar dlm subjek Sej,PA ngan PP tu kena ulang lagi la. Aiyerrr~

K.. Now nak komen ttg sklh baru aku. Urmm.. bukan nak mengutuk,tapi ini kenyataan. Harap ada yg baca ni,tak kecil hati la ye? Ini pndangan peribadi aku. Aku tak leh la nak tipu diri aku sendiri dgn mengatakan sklh ni ok. Huhu. Aku tgh dr segi luaran,bangunan tu ok la. Byk mural dilukis kat sana sini di dindang sklh. Warna warni mcm taman. Haha. Tapi bila ko masuk dlm kelas pulak,makkk aaiiii..... Aku terus tergamam,tak terkata. OMG! The class is so retarded! So lame! Damnnn... Mcm bilik darjah yg dah lama terbiar je. Tak buat renovation ke cikgu??? Papan kenyataan berlubang sana sini. Kalau kecil lubangnya takpe la gak,tapi ni besar2 punya. Besar dr muka kau tu haa... =.= Mmg nampak selekeh la kelas aku. Huhu. Agaknya mcm mana nak cover segala lubang2 tu? Haha. Kerusi meja plak style lain. Hurm... No komen sal tu. Tapi kelas aku masih nampak kosong sebab sesi PnP belum mula agi. Ttg peraturan sklh pulak,strict gilerrr... Sling bag takleh pakai. Form 6 takde keistimewaan betul kat sini. Pakaian sklh sama mcm budak2 menengah lain. Pakai kain biru,kasut putih. Haisshh.. Pas ni kena beli kasut putih la aku. Beg pun kena beli gak. Hahaha.. Minggu utk buang duit lagi la nampaknya. Strict mana pun sklh Luak,strict lagi sklh ni. Huhu. Rindu seyhh ngan kwn2 aku kat Luak sana. T.T Sunyi aku tanpa diorg,tapi msg2 ngan Nurul,dia kata boring diorg takde aku,sunyi je kelas. Haha. :') Terharunya. Al-maklum la,aku ni org pling suka buat bising dlm kelas. Huhu. Kat sini tak dpt agi kot mcm tu. Huhu. Takpe la. Sabar. Cuma utk 1 thn 5 bln je. Sabar2. Ok. The end. Malas nak blogging pjg2 sbb mood trganggu agi. Huh! >.<' Lantak kau la.



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Farewell

Olla. :) Yea.. today i have a great moment again. Dipendekkan cerita,aku dah dpt surat pindah sklh yg aku tunggu2 sejak dr bln lepas. Aww~ Sedih tinggalkan kwn kat SMKL. :'( So,buat la farewell,last minute punya plan. Yg dtg,Cath(harus ada ini budak :D ),Rasyid,Fira and Zuriana. Jumpa kat MM. Aku beli sandal jap. Then pergi massage ngan Cath and Rasyid. Haha. Best! Pastu,kitorg pegi tgk wyg. Tgk cita X-Men First Class. Mmg best cita tu. Sapa2 yg blm tgk,pegi lah tgk skrg or esok2 ke. Hmm.. Then dah habis cerita tu,kitorg buat photoshot kat jejantas. Haha. Ada org gayat bah. Tetiba ja. Baru jejantas,blm lg KLCC. Wahahaha! Jgn mrh sapa yg terasa. K. Aku nak upload gmbr2 yg kami ambil b4 aku pulang,tp gambar2 tu kat kwn aku. T.T
So,ini je lah yg aku nak crita. Takda mood sgt nak blogging skrg. But,i'm gonna miss my friends there. Hey Luakians! I heart you all. :')

P/s:Don't forget me. Hehe.



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Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Moment

Hello.. :) After beberapa hari tak blogging,now aku kembali. Haha. Bunyi mcm lama sgt tak blogging,sdgkan baru 2 hari. :)

Kali ni nak cita pasal mlm hari Selasa ni td,yg aku pergi lepak kat tepi pantai Tanjong. Such a great moment at that time. Walaupun aku dtg situ dgn niat nak find some peace. Yeah. Plan aku mnjadi hari tu. Ramai yg dtg. Ada Shaf,my driver..Hehe. Alvin,Ezekiel,Margaret,Patrick,Awang dan 2 org kwn dia,dan sorg lagi laki. Aku tak tau nama dia. Kwn kpd mreka Alvin gak tu. Time dah siap nyalakan unggun api,duduk2 mkn keropok and minum2,aku,Ezekiel,Alvin ngan Margaret g ke jeti. Kat situ kitorg borak2 tgk pemandangan laut pd waktu malam dgn angin malam yg menyegarkan,plus kalau kau dgr bunyi ombak,mmg tenang jiwa kau. :')

Time kat jeti tu,Ezekiel cadangkan,apa kata kita teriak ke laut utk lepaskan segala tekanan di jiwa. Aww~ Mmg itu apa yg aku nak buat selama ni. Yahh.. kami brdua pun teriak sekuat hati. Pastu Alvin dan Margaret pun join sekaki. :') Biar sampai tekak aku sakit,aku masih jugak nak lepaskan segala yg aku pendam ke laut. :'( Sedih.

Pkl 11.16pm mcm tu,tak lama lepas insiden menjerit2 (haha),aku dpt msg dr Stan,dia kata "just wanna let u know that i miss u so badly :') " :'( I miss him too. But it just things went different after that day. Terasa seluruh duniaku direntap dgn kasar. Huhu.. Aku balik rumah dlm pkl 1.30am. Letih sgt and terus tido lepas on9 skejap mlm tu. Maklum la dr pgi smpai lewat mlm xda rehat. Antara gambar2 yg kami ambil mlm tu:

Unggun api yg kami buat. Susah gak nak hidupkn dia hari tu.

Kwn yg aku knal dr fb,akhirnya dpt jumpa gak,sebab dia study kat Kuching.
Ini kali kedua brjumpa. :)

Skema. Haha. Kat jeti ni. Sebelum menjerit2 insiden. :p

Newly love bird. Sweet! Senyap pulak tu couple. Ngegeh korg 2. Haha.  :D

With Ezekiel. :)
Nampak gelap disana. =.= Tidak cukup cahaya pd waktu mlm. 

My Jerit Team. Haha.
Okay,the end. :)



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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Day 3 (Mangsa Keadaankah Aku?)

.::7.00pm::.
3 hari day berlalu,aku masih lagi mcm ni. Menyimpan rasa dgn kemas. Aku sedih,mmg aku sedih. Aku nak expresskan apa yang aku rasa,tapi air mata aku tak nak kuar. Setakat bergenang tu adalah. Tapi aku cepat2 tahan ia dari mengalir. Ok. Aku sik mok menangis,tapi aku sendiri rasa terseksa menahan perasaan. Bercampur baur. Sedih+marah+geram+rasa diperbodohkan+dikhianati+tak dihargai=mangsa keadaan. Sejak dari semalam aku asyik teringatkan dia. Aku blh lupakn dia sekejap dan fokus pada sesi pembelajaran dlm kelas,tapi kdg2 tetiba aku blh teringatkan dia. Terusla apa benda yang aku tulis jadi salah. =.= Tadi,waktu dlm bas,pergi dan balik dari Boulevard,sepanjang perjalanan tu fikiran aku melayang. Sumpah,nak nangis aku. Tapi aku tahan gak. Aku pandang tempat kali terakhir aku lihat dia,satu minggu yg lepas. Terus aku terfeeling lebih. Haizz.. =.= Entah. Aku rasa mcm aku lah mangsa keadaan. Aku fikirkan balik,kalau la hal tu tak brlaku,maksud aku kalau la dia tak buat hal hari tu,dah pasti kami msih brsama kan? Menyesalkah aku bertanyakan dia hal tu? Sedangkan aku punya hak utk brtanya. Dia yg mulakan. Mereka yg mulakan. Aku terasa seperti dipermainkan. Kalau lah dia tak kuar ngan ex dia hari tu,sudah pasti kami takkan putus kan? Sebab semuanya brmula lepas aku tanya dia soal tu,aku minta dia jujur padaku. Tapi lain yg terjadi. Yaa.. Aku lah mangsa keadaan. :'( Tapi apalah salah aku kat kat dia? Aku jujur sejujur2nya layak seorg kekasih. Dari mula smpai kami putus,aku tak pernah sembunyikan apa2 dr dia. Apa yg penting aku ceritakan pd dia,trmasuk hal yg tak penting juga. Ex2 aku sendiri msg aku,aku bgtau dia juga. Tapi dia?? Dia ngan ex dia contact2 mcm tu,haram sgt nak bgtau aku. :( Aku keluar dgn sapa,pergi mana,buat apa,smua aku bgtau. Tapi dia?? Dia sggup reka cerita,tipu aku semata2 nak jumpa ex dia.

Hey! Ko kata tak cinta dia,tapi apasal ko jumpa dia tanpa sebab munasabah hah?? Aku ada buat kau mcm tu?? Takde kan? Ko tak ingat janji kau kat aku. Ke kau buat2 lupa? :'( Seolah2 insiden tepi pantai tak pernah kau sematkan dlm otak kau. Ntah. Kat situ ko janji kat aku takkan sakiti aku lg. Aku msih syg kau. Masih tunggu kau,aku bg kau peluang utk kembali. Kau tahu tu. Tapi ntah.. Aku tak pernah rasa sakit hati mcm ni. Ni la 1st time aku couple jarak dekat. Before ni smua long distance relationship. Tapi nmpaknya pengalaman pertama aku couple dekat2,menyedihkan walaupun dlm masa aku bahagia dgn dia,aku dpt rasa yg aku ditipu.

Terasa diri tak dihargai.. :'( Akukah yg salah? Sekali lagi aku bertanya pada diri aku. Baiklah. Aku malas nak type lagi. Hampir pkl 8pm. Kejap agi kwn dtg ambil aku. Tapi aku blm mandi. =.= Nak pi pantai. Itu plan aku. Aku bawa seramai mana kwn2 yg mmg keluar mlm. Okey. Nampaknya ramai yg dpt kuar. Ni yg buat aku WOWWWW!!! =.= Baiknya korang nak ikut plan aku. Haha. Aku kata kat diorg aku nak bersantai and feeling2 di tepi pantai dgn ditemani unggun api. Mcm last time punya tuu~ ^^ Syok! Dingin malam dgn kehangatan unggun api temani kau feeling sana,ko akan rasa tenang. Itu yg aku cari,ketenangan. Bukan saja2 tau nak bawa mereka kuar. Diorg nak buat apa nanti trpulang kat diorg la. Janji aku dah ada kat tempat yg aku nak tenangkan diri. :')


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Sunday, June 19, 2011

Randoms

Xda tajuk sesuai. Lagi pun macam2 nak disemadikan dlm entry kali ni. =.= Ntah.. Hurm.. Kosong. I'm empty. No idea what to do. Study? Malassssss ku. Mmg esok sklh. Haha. I know it. K. Wanna use what language now? English? Erm. Cam no feeling je? BM? Mungkin? Or Sarawak's Malay language? Haa.. Ok. Prefer that one. Sorry other bloggers from the other state. Need to use Sarawak's language for this entry.


Hmm.. Ptg tdik,ku texting ngan kwn ku. Ku mdh ngan nya yg ku dah xda gik ngan Stan. Then nya mdh "biar benar kau? Alaaaa...x best. Why bah?" Kenak nya mdh dakya? Sebab nya dah predict yg kmk 2 akan lamak bah. Tapi aku mdh ngan nya,jauhhhh naaa juak prediction ko ya? =.= Haha. Then aku call nya utk ceritakan hal marek. Yahh~ Mcm2 diloya. Then cousin ku dtg umah ptg tdik,ku nunggah nya msuk blik ku,crita privately kmk dua. Meluah la tdik. P still ku rasa kosong. Mok menangis,tapi aku dah x termampu. Sik tauk knak. Mgkin aku dah rasa lali sakit hati kerana nya dlm seminggu dua tok. =/ Bena bah. Ku rasa dah cukup bersabar ku menahan rasa marah and sedih aku. Aku dibulak,sapa sik mrh and sedih nak? Oleh gerek kedirik gik ya. :'( Haizz..

Aku teringat hal mlm tdik. Ku pdh ngan nya,"go tell her that we're break up already. I'm sure she happy when she know about this. Tell her,be happy without me to get mad with both of you.You want to meet her,go on. There's no more me to get mad of you" Haizz.. I know this is what she want. Maybe? Coz seeing me with him makes she down and sad. Don't know. Actually,i mean it when i tell her that i'm sorry for her. And wanna to help her to be strong. But the condition is not allowing me to do so. K. Apahal aku guna BI tok?? =.=' Sik boleh lari kejap BI ku tok eyh. Ya ku malassss.... Lari ko jauh2 nun. Hmm.. But then aku jdi fed up bila ngga nya mcm x blh mok brhenti dr sedih2. =.=' Gerek aku di ingat2 nya,sapa sik terasa. Tapi dlm pd ya,nang ku mok tlg nya. =.= Gney ya owh? Ntah. Aku nang x mok cdak ptuts kwn. Tapi cdak duak cam salahgunakan kepercayaan aku kat cdak. :'( Yala mslh nya. Pa juak salah cdak jumpa pun,at least jgn smpe aku tauk dr belakang bah. Torang pernah dgr sik,kenyataan itu menyakitkan??? Tapi penipuan lebih menyakitkan drpd kenyataan. Ko tauk kenak? Sebab bila ko ditipu,ko sa seluruh kepercayaan ko ya diragut kdak ya jak eyh. Bila org terus terang ngan ko,nya menyatakan kebenaran tanpa menipu kau,ko mesti dpt rasa bah kejujuran seseorg ya ngan kau. My point is kejujuran itu penting! =.=' 

Hmm..Aku teringat juak kenangan ngan nya nok sesingkat waktu ya. Aku tgk tgn aku nok da bekas luka oleh nya tdik. Kenak rokok nya last week. Still terang jelas lagi nyata bekas ya. :( Aku dpt bekas luka ya time aku g ngabang kat umah kwn nya. Tapi aku rasa luka di hati aku lagi terok dr bekas luka di tgn aku. Tapi aku x ksah smua ya. Apa yg aku dah decide dlok,xkan pernah ku nyesal wlupun ada sedikit kekesalan di hati bila dipolah camtok. Di sia2 kan jak asa. :'(

Teringat balit saat kali pertama aku bertemu face to face ngan nya. Time ya aku kena turun kerja awal. Pkul 7am start. Waktu aku smpe kat hotel,aku mok lalu dpn smoking zone. Mcm biasalah,ya mmg laluan utama mok nuju ke loker room pun. Ada sorg laki tgh syok2 merokok cya smbil main hp. Haha.. Aku gik ingat. Aku lalu dpn laki ya dgn tunjuk muka kurang senang,kurang selesa,and kurang kurangan lah. Bukan pa bah. 1st,aku sik suka ngga laki merokok. :D Yaaaa... nang benar,tapi pa leh wat kan? Laki nang sinonim ngan rokok. 'Budaya kitaaaaa'~ Haha. 2nd,aku ra kurang kurangan sebab aku sik suka diperhatikan bila aku limpas dpn org. =.=' Bena..laki ya,bena nya nangga aku,mungkin kenal kot? Then aku laju2 jln lalu dpn nya. G ambik baju,terus masuk ke loker room. Then,dpt satu msg,tertera nama nya,Stanley. Oh! Pgi2 dah msg tok,pahal kah? Nya mdh,"i think i saw you just now,ko limpas dpn smoking zone,it's me here.Duduk merokok ctok. Hehe." Then aku cam,oh my.. Ko kah ya? K.. Aku sik kenal lalu pun kau. Haha. Then the whole day ya ku msg2 ngan nya even time ya ku busy keja. Sampe la kedit ku habis. Tgh hari dakya la ku stop msg nya. P lmbat2 kmk 2 reply msg coz sama2 kerja maa time ya. Then mun ku da keja gik hari2 yg berikutnya,ada la juak terserempak ngan nya kat area luar ball room ya. Da juak ku tlg nya carik dress chair and table cloth pa smua. K..ya time first time aku face to face ngan nya.

Nok last time face to face? Of course la Rabu tok tek. :( Sik sangka owh? Ingatkan mok jumpa nya hujung minggu daktok. But bnda dah jadi camtok kan? Pa leh wat. Ku rindu koh mok gigit nya. =.= Haha. Ku rindu mun ku gigit kuku,mesti nya salu halang aku. Then aku rindu mok peluk nya dari belakang and aku letakkan muka aku kat belakangnya. Mesti nya gelik. Haha. Aku suka ya. Then nya gik balas. =.= Pas ya,da juak main tutup2 mata guna tgn masing2. Nya tutup2 mata aku. Aku tutup mata nya k tgn aku. Haha. Ngok kan? X da sebab nak tutup2 mata ya. Haha. Erm.. K. Jgn lebih2. Menyampah org baca lak. P ku rasa nang udah menyampah juak tok. P ku duli pa,blog aku,aarr...fhm2 la. X mok baca,close tab la,pa gk? :p Huhu..

K.. Baru dpt msg dr nya,nya mdh "i mish u baby. :( what have i done to us. I regret it." Hmm.. Regret it? :'( K. No use already. You did it already bah. :( Maybe you're right,we are not meant to be. Nevermind ahh. Just happy with her cnun. Kan she more know you than me,like what she said bah. Ya..i know it right. Ku pun ngaku bah nya lebih knal Stan drpd aku. Well.. Aku ngan Stan sikit pun xda lalu persamaan. :'D But why leh bergerek owh? And maybe ya sebab kmk 2 x tahan lamak. Haha. *Ketawa la kau sana Christie sampai ko puas. =.=' Mok nangis haa? *Xda..xda.. Ku mengenang jak tok. (Cakap kedirik udah.) K.. Then ku leh tgk bah Stan lebih perlukan nya drpd aku yg waktu ya gereknya. :( Ntah. Pa2 hal,nya mcm prefer crik ex nya ya dr aku. Aku tauk la nya tlg Stan utk hal2 study ya,ku lgsung xda tlg pa2 pun. Of course la,sebab time nya tlg Stan ya,dr cdak 2 brgrk dlok bah. Urm.. Rasa nya lah. Or time cdak 2 bru jak ptus. Ntah,ku x tauk. Hmm.. Byk gik la bnda2 yg menyakitkan hati aku. Aku still ingat,mlm Jumaat,2 hri lpas. Stan mdh ngan aku,"don't leave me." For your information,aku sikkan tinggalkan kau mun kau stay here with me. My decision to stay is depends on your action and what you do. Tapii..erm.. lain yg jadi. I did stay for you,but you??? Nahh~ Jawab and fikir2kan kedirik. K? :)

Btw,i miss you,dear! Bye. :')



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Day 1

Hello readers.. Happy Sunday. =.=' I know its Sunday. That's mean tomorrow school huh? :) Semalam tido lewat,pkl 4.30am mcm tu. Even dah ditegur dia beberapa kali,but i can't help it. Sorry,my eyes just can't sleep. Hoho. Insomnia. You know that from the first time we know each other. :')

I woke up this morning,so early i think,around 9.30am. Can u just count how many hours i slept today? Almost 5 hours like that. :) I planned to wake up late,around 11 like that. But it just my own problem. Once i am awake,open my eyes widely,then i get no chance to get some sleep back. Funny huh? Ok. Not funny. I know,maybe you,you,you,you..any of you who reads this,no matter who you are,stalkers(sure ada stalkers here),my blog's friends,silent readers,any of you,face the same problem like me. Okay,i'm not here to talk about sleep. Duhh~ Why is it my topic menyimpang trlalu jauh? Talk about sleep already took 5-6 lines. =.=' What about my time taken to type that?? Hurm.. K.. Melalut lebih. Merepak (babbling) di pagi hari is good. Haha. :D Good for your mouth,exercise bah. (When is it i use my mouth to merepak in blog?? =.=') Okay.. Just imagine it,enough.

I woke up this morning. After went to the toilet,(specifically description on what i did after woke up..haha) So lame! Perfectionist bah.. Well,do i care? :p
K.. Continue. After went back to my bed room,i charged my phone,coz' it totally shut down since this early morning. Due to my laziness to charge it up. Plus,i think since we're already break off,surely my phone will be silent all the time. Yeah.. as i open my phone,oppss...not open actually,but turn it on =.= , i received a msg from my sis,she asked me what happened. But i didn't reply it yet. Haha. I think later2 la.. She might busy this morning as this is SUNDAY morning. =.=' Huhu. Then,i try to sleep back. Then my phone rang again,received a msg. I wonder who is it that looking for me this early morning. Then i look at it up. Err.. K. It's from Stanley. He said,"morning sayang :)". Then i replied him and send my confused and shocked face,like this------>" O.o morning too." Then he say sorry,still try to get use of it. He forget that we're break up already. K. Actually me too. ;'( I woke up with the weirdest,strangest,and so on feeling this morning. Trying to forget everything,but it just i cant. Hey,i know that i'm having SHORT TERMS MEMORY,it doesn't mean i will easily forget things just like that. =/

K..we have a few minutes for a few msgs. I didn't layan his msg so much. Enough after i express what i feel,then i just replied him with "ok" and "i know",or just "k". He asked me do i still love him. Then i said definitely yes. He asked me why.Then i replied him,

"There's no reason why we love a person.It just your heart,your heart will tell you what you feel. Not based on what your mouth that speak it out. Coz' words is not really good in express what you feel.From the start,i gave you my heart,i will loyal to you,i promise to myself that the relationship will end not because i'm cheating. But seems like things went different."
 He replied me,
"So i'm sorry for making you falling in love with me. Sorry also coz' i love you too,but might just not enough. Sorry i didn't make thing clear. And sorry that i hurt your feeling."
 This time going to be a confession,don't know why am i so brave to say it out. I tell him,"i want you back. But,it's okay. I know your situation. " He said,"Me too. But i'm scared that i will hurt you again." Naaahh~ I know what is it. I tell him that he can avoid all this,but it just he is the one that can't and don't want to avoid it. =.='  Continue..he said "let's time decide it. I will sure get you back when i think i should." Then,it's the starting when i  started to not layan his msg so much. Hell yeah! I'm afraid the more longer i text him,the more longer i become speechless. Plus i have nothing to say after that. Yah..

It's time to let go. It's a brand new beginning. Hey! I lose my love but i still have my friends. Aww~ Thanks guys and girls. :') They keep give me a piece of encouragement. They spent time for me. Some 'talked' to me wall to wall. Some commented on my status. =.=' As usual people do on facebook. Haha. Some of them inbox me. The most thing that makes me want to shed my tears is,when i posted up this picture.

See? This is how i look like,after almost an hour of our breaking up. I still can smile. This is for you. But definitely you will never could see a sweet smile like this from me anymore. :') Thanks for saying that "i'm gonna miss your sweet smile.".
Ok.. There's a friend of mine commented on this picture and said,"i like your smile,but your eyes tell me that you're still sad. ehehe. :)". Then i was just like =.=' waddahell...how come is that? But definitely,what he said,makes me wanna cry. Hurm.. But i didn't. I managed to stop (what i mean is menahan,not hentikan) my tears from falling down. :') Yay! I'm success! :') But please don't make any judgement on my action. I didn't crying not because i'm not hurt at all. I did but it just that,wellllllll you know.. I'm a strong girl though. :') (i know i am). I said to myself,i will not crying for him anymore. I think it's enough i waste my 'eyes water' (haha) for him. Let's make the time i cried in front of him at the Tanjong last week is gonna be the last time i cry for him. :') I wanna live my life to the fullest. Without love,i still can live yaw~ Like what i did last time. Oh yeah! :') Btw,thanks to my besties,sissies,my good friend,which i call him bro,my cuzzie and the last is my ex boyfriend's friend. He was shocked that we are not couple anymore because the last time he met Stanley,he seems being okay. I told him what happened coz' he asked me to.

Opppss....that's not the last actually. I just received a msg from my friend,who once was my future-boyfriend-wanna-be. But since he's far from me, i took many years to accept him. How long he have waited for me? I am sure you will dumbfounded when you know about that. It's almost 3 years you know. =.=' I know that he loved me. But yeah... Still can't accept him,just being a good friend for him is enough. Lastly,i choose Stanley and dumbed him. =.= What can i do. I need my boyfie near to me. Okay,end the story,he texted me just now and said,
"Just cry out loud whenever you feel like to. Don't keep in inside,it will make you even worst. Hope you getting well soon. I'm always here as your friend :)"
 Once again,thank you friends for giving me encouragement. I am alright and come..come..let's listen to Travie McCoy's song named "We'll be alright". :') Duhh~ Hey you,thanks for reading this. I know it just waste your time but it's your own will that wanna read my entry from a to z. Don't blame me. Bluekkkk! :D Adiosaaa~


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Just for share :)

Lawak.

Bacalah..
Ini tiada kaitan dgn yg hidup mau pun yg mati.
Haha. -_-'

Dapat baca tak? Ehemm.. kalau tak dpt,silakan merajinkan diri utk mengklik gambar tersebut utk pmbesaran. Semoga brjaya! Kalau dpt,enjoy it then. Kalau tak dpt,jgn marah saya. Hehe. :D Peace!



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Saturday, June 18, 2011

We End Tonight

Hello.. :) Ermm.. Ya,based on my title,surely u understand what is it. My relationship with him,Stanley has ended. How is it happened?


K.. Dimulakan cerita,td,hampir pkl 9 lebih mcm tu,aku dpt tau yg sebenarnya dia pergi jumpa ex dia siang tadi. Tapi dia bgtau yg dia pergi ke rmh pakcik dia kat Bekenu. =.=' Nampak pelik. Ok. Tapi aku percaya gak. Bodohnya aku. Kan? Bila ptg,dia dah balik,aku bagi la dia rest dulu. Tapi lama benar,smpai la aku dpt tau yg dia tipu aku siang td. Mcm mana aku tau,tu tak pyh tau la. :) Yang penting.apa cerita disebalik perpisahan kami. :')

Aku kata kat dia,baik bgtau yg sebenarnya yg dia pergi mana hari ni. Okay,dia fhm mksud aku. Then dia kata,"chill. Sory. And again,i lied to you. Again. I know,you are not Rihanna (=.=' apa budak ni kata??). K..sambung balik apa dia kata. "Ok. No explanation this time. Say whatever you want." Then dia kata lg,"I can't give any good answer. Dahla,tak perlu panggil 'bie' lagi. Sure you want to break off right?" Urmm...okey,seriously,mmg itu yg aku fikirkan,dr minggu2 lepas pun. :'( Then,he told me that he don't love his ex,he try to love me,yes he can. But it just,not yet fully wanna get involved into love,i think la. =.='

Then,i said "i'm not yours anymore. I set you free. You can do what you want now. No one will mad at you. Just be happy with your life,without me,i know and sure it's more merrier without me." Then he asked,"any chance for being just friend?" And i said sure. =.=' Haiyaa.... Can you see that i just can't let him go just like that? And definitely i will offer him a friendship. :(

But the most magic thing is,i didn't cry at all this night. I didn't tears even a single drop anyway. I don't know why is it like this. But maybe it just i get used to get hurt all this while,i mean in this week. Kan so many things happened to me since last week. And aku prnah trfikir utk akhiri hbgn kami. But it just that i can't because i adore him. :( Sayang punya pasal kan? Huhu. So just,aku langsung tak nangis. Tapi esok2 tak tau lagi. :( Aku msih mmpu trsenyum walaupun hati aku sakit. :') Dear,i still can smile if you come to comforts me,but i think im gonna run and hide myself from bump into you. Someday. Maybe? I don't know.

A memory to remember. :')
Beginilah akhir kisah aku dan dia. :') Memang tak sgka sekejap ni saja. Aku ngan dia selama sebulan lebih je,dr 28 April hingga 18 Jun 2011. Tak lama kan? :') No komen. Haha.
Stan,take care of yourself there. God bless you. Hope you will get on what you're hoping and waiting for. Amen. :')



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Laksa Sarawak oh Laksa Sarawak





Hoho..berliur tak bila tgk gambar2 kat atas? Inilah dia Laksa Sarawak. Huuhuhu..aku dah meliur2 tgk gmbar ni,'mengidam' sgt dah nak mkn laksa . Tak tau plak apesal ptg ni tetiba teringat laksa. Haiz.. Mengidam pulak dah. Mana nak cari ptg2 mcm ni? Tapi yg paling aku rindu la,Laksa Sarawak buatan org Kuching. Lagi pergghhhhh! la rasanya. Huhu... Bila la dpt mkn laksa ni weyhh? :'(


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Friday, June 17, 2011

Waiting and waiting

Seminggu dah tak update blog. So apa cer?? Okey.. Dlm minggu ni,aku dpt berita dr Puan Lucy,guru yg urus kami Tingkatan 6 bahawa aku dpt pindah ke sklh yg aku pilih. Tapi officially letter tu blm lgi PPD fax kan. Plus,fax sklh tgh ada prob. =.=' zzzZZZ... Kacak cerita! Kalau mcm ni,bila la aku dpt pindah?? =.= So lame! Haizz.. Okey2. Tak nak merungut lebih,just tunggu je lah.

Urm..lately,makin jarang mengupdate. Aku selalu nak update,tapi kdg2 masa tak mencukupi. Aku buat satu entry,tapi tak dpt nak publishkan entry tu pada hari tu gak. So,trpksa tggu entry tu siap,baru dpt publish. So,ini btl2 menampakkan yg aku tak punya byk masa utk spend more time utk blogging. Tapi whatever it is,aku still try get some time for this.

Yeahh..tadi bila aku buka blog,cek entry terbaru dr rakan2 seblog. Baca satu entry trbaru dr kwn trbaik aku,trkejut gak tgk nama aku di mention dlm entry dia. Dia mention ttg penggunaan bahasa Malaysia aku utk berblogging. Aku guna BM utk memudahkan follower dr negeri lain utk faham apa yg aku sampaikan dlm blog. Mungkin nampak skema bg org Sarawak yg membaca blog aku ni,tapi ada aku kisah? Aku punya blog,so suka hati aku lah nak guna bahasa pe dlm blog aku. Kan? Itu tandanya aku memikirkan juga kesulitan org lain utk memahami apa yg aku taip dlm blog. Ada pun aku guna bahasa Sarawak,bila aku rasa perlu je. K.. Bebalik kpd seorg kwn td,terima kasih bestie for mentioning my name on your blog! :) Aku harap ko pun mula menggunakan BM utk blog. Aku tau bah ko ada follower dr Semenanjung. :P Keep it up. :)


Ok,ni lagi satu..nak cerita pasal hari Rabu,iaitu 2 hri lpas. Aku kluar ngan hatimanis ku kat parkson. Tgh mkn kat KFC,tiba2 aku tgk seseorg yg aku knal. Oh,itu kwn kpd that girl. Then,aku tgk org kat sblh dia,that girl pun ada gak. Aku terus pggil hatimanis aku,dia tnya knpa. Aku tak jdi nak bgtau dia yg aku nmpak that girl. Then kitorg g Popular,aku nak beli file. Pastu,kitorg limpas McD,trnmpak diorg tgh mkn kat McD tu,okey,time tu baru my hatimanis nmpak that girl and dia terus tgk jam kat hp,dia kata "tak sklh ke dia tu?". Aku diam je. Tapi dlm hati tau la..bergelora dgn mcm2 perasaan. Sukar diungkap. Time limpas diorg tu la aku automatik lemparkan senyum sinis. Actually mata aku kurang jelas time tu,tapi aku peduli pa aku senyum sinis kat sapa. Haa.. Then aku ngan boyfie g duduk kat kerusi yg tak jauh dr McD tu. Lama la jugak duduk situ,then tiba2 that girl with her friends lalu dpn kitorg. =.=' Tujuan ape ntah. Buat songeh je time naik eskalator,ketawa biar smpai aku dgr. (itu kau punya suka la kan nak ketawa kuat2..bukan hal aku pun.) Then boyfie kata,"jgn pedulikan dia..buat tak tau je". Ok. Pastu aku balik,dlm pkul 2. Ya,aku pulang awal kali ni even da jumpa boyfie. Pertama kali balik awal dr brjumpa boyfie. Tapi kesah ape la kan? Dah bosan sgt time tu,tak tau nak pegi mana. So boyfie kata balik je la,aku mmg nak,sebab nak tdo,tak ckup tdo lately. Lagipun dia nak jmpa kwn. Ehh... mcm biasa,g cc,main dota ngan kwn. Errmm.. Dah. End of story. Thanks for reading this followers,friends,silent readers,or stalkers.


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Sunday, June 12, 2011

Yesterday:Bad and good day.

Heloo semua,heloo silent readers,stalkers,and friends in blog. K.. hari ni nak crita pasal semalam. Entry semalam ada berhangin sikit,tapi now dah okey lah. Huhu.. Malam Jumaat lepas,aku emosi gilerrr tahap kebabian. -.-' Aar.. Dia ketahuan,jumpa dgn ex dia. :'( Sedih ku bah. :( Sampai hati bulak aku nak? Malam Khamis kitorang jumpa,aku tanya,ada apa2 yg aku tak tau yg dia  nak beritau? Dia nampak teragak2,diam sebentar. Then dia kata takda,tp aku tau,aku blh nampak yg sbnarnya dia ada something nak bgtau,tapi aku tak tau knpa dia pyh nak cerita. But then aku diam je la. Malas nak paksa2 org. Sebab that day,first time kami jumpa after seminggu lebih tak jumpa sebab dia balik kpg. So,aku tak nak sia2kan masa yg kami ada dgn brtekak or what-so-ever la. Sebelah pagi hari Jumaat,everything went like usual. Tapi bila dah sebelah mlm.. Syurga dah terasa macam neraka. Aku dpt tau yg dia jumpa ex dia hari tu. Senyap2 g jumpa ex ye?? Sebelum tu,aku baca2 post ex dia,len bebenor lagaknya. Betollll... Aku syak something je. Tapi aku diam je. :( Aku mmg fikir yg bukan2,yela...sapa yg tak kan fikir yg bukan2 kan? Urm..walaupun mcm tu,aku tak nak la ambil kisah sgt,walaupun sbnrnya aku ksah,tp aku percayakan dia. Tapi nampaknya kepercayaan aku mcm sia2 jak. :(( Tak sgka kan dia buat mcm tu. Ya.. Mlm tu,aku mmg mrh sgt2 kat dia,tapi aku diam je. Aku pendamkan dlm hati. Aku tak nak gaduh dlm hp,aku nak tanya face to face kat dia. Nak tgk reaksi and riak muka dia. Tp mlm tu aku lgsung tak lyn dia mcm biasa. Aku menangis bila dpt tau ttg tu. Selama sebulan lebih kami brsama,aku tak pernah titiskan air mata kerana dia. Tapi mlm Khamis tu,tu la first time aku titskan air mata kerana dia. Betapa sakitnya hati aku. Oleh kerana sakit hati yg tramat sgt,aku tak layan sgt dia mlm tu. Dia jadi heran. Berkali2 dia call smpai hampir kol 3 am. Aku lagsung tak angkat. Sepanjang mlm tu aku nangis.

So semalam,aku bawa dia jumpa,kat pantai tanjong. Sepanjang perjalanan ke sana,aku berusaha menahan air mata aku drpd jtuh ke pipi. :'( Bila dh smpai kat tepi pantai tu,sementara tggu dia dtg cri aku,aku duduk memandang ke laut,air mata aku pun trus mengalir sebab aku tak dpt nak tahan lg. :'( Bila dia dh smpai,drama trus mula. :-/ Aku terus tanya2 dia,lepaskan mrh,geram,kesedihan and kekecewaan aku kat dia. Paling aku marah bila dia tipu aku,dia buat mcm tu blkang2 aku,pastu..aku mrh sgt2 bila selepas seminggu lebih aku tak jumpa dia kerana dia balik kpg,ternyata bukan aku org pertama yg jumpa dia,tp ex dia yg jumpa dia dulu berbandingkan aku yg kekasih dia sendiri. :'( Mmg frust giler aku. Lama la juga 'berdrama',lepas aku nangis2 dpn dia and aku luahkan apa yg aku tak puas hati,aku diam,dia pun diam. Then dia bawa pergi mkn sebab blm mkn,aku pun ok je sebab aku pun blom mkn. Tak lama lepas tu,kitorg ok2 dah la.

Sebelah ptg,dlm kol 4,dia ajak pergi his house with the 3 of his ex-collegues. K.. Sebabnya ialah ngabang,tutup gawai. So memandang hari msih lg awal,so aku ikut je la. Bukan jauh mana pun. Hurm..kat situ ada la di kasi minum air tuak (rice wine). Tp x byk la.. Perghhh! Punya la berasa btl air tuak tu.Then kitorang sambung g ngabang rumah sorg lg kwn dia kat Permyjaya. Jauh gilaa.. Dah mlm dh tu,trpaksa bgtau mummy aku blik lewat. Dah smpai kat rumah kwn ni,apalagi,org terus hidang air beer and tuak. Haiz..dgn aku2 skali knak paksa minum. =.=' Tak dpt aku elak bah! Ko p lari pun,diorang tarik kau masuk blik. Then,aku diajak menari sekali. Haha. Really enjoy that moment. Gawai kat rumah org ala2 clubbing yuu~ Last2,aku pun dah berjalan tak btl,aku tak mabuk sebab aku langsung tak rasa pening and tak muntah2,aku cuma tak dapat berjalan dgn lurus je sebab aku rasa cam ringan je bila dah minum air tuak byk2. Dicampur lagi dgn beer Huda. =.=' Kenapa diriku harus dipaksa minum tu kalau aku tak mau? Kalau aku yg rela,xpa gak kan? Bila dah nak balik,kwn kata tak dpt hantar balik sbab tak larat nak hantar,al-maklum rumah aku jauh. Ikut plan,kitorang semua akan brmalam kat rumah kwn yg mghantar,tgk2,dia hantar hatimanisku kat rumah dia,then rupa2nya aku kena ikut boyfie blik rumah dia. =.=' Kalau aku tak ikut boyfie,aku nak tido kat mana? Aku dah bgtau mummy gak yg aku tak jadi balik. So,nak tak nak,terpaksa tido kat umah boyfie mlm semalam. Huhu.. Jgn fikir yg bukan2 plak. Kitorg tdo je,takde wat pa2. Lagipun,aku bukan tido berdua dgn dia,ada adik dia gak tido ngan kami 2 kat sebelah kami. Kitorang tido kat ruang tamu.

Aku bgn awal gak,dlm b4 kol 8 mcm tu. Cuci muka and breakfast kat rumah brsama yg trsayang. Pastu,kol 9 pagi td,aku balik rumah. Sampai rumah,trus on9 and blogging. Buat entry ni. Aku sakit tekak ni,gara2 minum mlm td. Huhu.. Mata pun dah kuyu and layu.Tak cukup tido dlm minggu ni,maklum la cuti,on9 24jam la jawabnya. :D

Ron and him,waiting for Norton to come. :)
Smile :)
Sweet huh? With Cassie,Norton's daughter. :)
Kwn2 tgh karaoke & dance together :)
Okey..tu je yg aku dpt share2 kan. Sumpah hari semalam,hari yg teruk bg aku,tapi brtukar jadi hari yg best bg aku. Aku down sebelah siang,tp up2 pd sebelah mlm. Hehe. :D



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Saturday, June 11, 2011

Because I Am A Girl :')

I just can't understand the ways
Of all the men and their mistakes
You give them all your heart
And then they rip it all away

You told me how much you loved me
And how our love was meant to be
And I believed in you
I thought that you would set me free

You should've just told me the truth
That I wasn't the girl for you
Still, I didn't have a clue
So my heart depended on you 

Although I'll say I hate you now
Though I'll shout and curse you out
I'll always have love for you
Because I am a girl

Been told a man will leave you cold
Get sick of you and bored
I know that it's no lie
I gave my all, still I just cry

Never again will I be fooled
To give my all when nothing's true
I won't be played again
But I will fall in love again

Although I'll say I hate you now
I Want You So
Now you leave me in the cold
How could this be?
I thought that you Really Loved Me

Into the Night
I will pray that you're alright
You hurt me so
I just can't let you go

You took advantage of my willingness
To do anything for love
Now I'm the only one in pain
Will you please take it all away?

Never thought Born being A girl
I can love you and be burned
Now I will build a wall
To never get torn again

Although I'll say I hate you now
Though I'll shout and curse you out
I'll always have love for you
Because I am a girl.


P/s: Boys,do never take girls for granted,please. :')




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Sekda Mood aku bah! Bangang!

Pukul 2.04am..

Waktu hujan turun renyai2..

Oh.. Cuaca mcm tauk2 jak perasaan aku kinek. Hmm..tok la 1st time aku blogging k bahasa Srwak. :') Ku lebih prefer k bhsa kebangsaan,senang utk follower dr ngri lain baca. Tapi kali tok.. Hmm.. Prefer k bhsa Srwak la. feeling kit ku meluah ctok. Huhu. Aku tgh down knek. Yah.. Menyakitkan apa yg aku baru tauk,apa yg aku baca tdik. Yala org mdh,kebenaran menyakitkan. Nang bena la. P penipuan gik la menyakitkan. Aku malas mok cita. Hanya kwn2 ku yg trdekat jak tauk,yg perempuan la. Mula2 ku pat tauk hal ya tek,ku terus nangis,dlm pd masa yg sama,ku inbox Cath,soh nya tgga apa yg aku baca. Huhu. Then aku msg Racheal,soh nya agak aku. Aku tauk dah aher ku soh nya agak aku,hampir mok kol 10.30pm ku msg nya. Tp ku terharu sebab nya sggup and maok agak aku walaupun nya mdh pat agak jap jak. Aku okey jak as long as aku pat cita ngan nya,aku x pat tahan gik bah. Nya agak la aku ngan Nadya or Kim,gerek Muz. :') Thanks sistha! Torang duak sggup agak aku time ku benar2 perlukan seseorang utk brcerita. Nah~ Aku tunjuk apa yg patut kat cdak duak. Then pas cdak baca,alu meyumpah seranah cdak. Ah welll~~ Sakit hati bah baca. Aku yg mok nangis kerana sakit hati ditipu pun alu sik jadi mok nangis. Sa sakit hati lebih dlm dari sa sedih. Huhu. Geram ku eyh. Mun dpt ku sa mok jumpa jak laki ya,mpuan ya sik mok ku jumpa eyh. Buang masa ku jak. Menyampah! >_<' Hurm.. Dah berkali2 org ya call aku,p ku langsung sik mok jawab. Malas ku bah brcakap ngan seorg penipu buat masa tok. Ku mok jumpa nya baru ku mok tanyak apa and minta kebenaran dari nya. Mungkin siang lak ku jumpa nya kot. Tangga la gney. Or patut ka ku polah plan mengejut jmpa nya? Haizz... bodo bah! Sekda mood ku oleh hal ya. Bah.. Ctok jak la cita aku. Malas mok menaip gik. Mok layan jiwa memberontak lok. :'p

P/s:Btw aku terpaksa tukar link atas sebab tertentu. Ahaha! Hodoh jadi nya blog header aku. Sikda idea ku nak polah gney. Tggu da masa la ku tukar,polah baru. Then,aku trpaksa delete dua post aku nok da kaitan ya. Yala ku malas. Huh! Huhuh.. Kesian cdak follower ku nok lain,sik dpt update dr aku unless ku inform cdak and suruh re-follow. :)



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